Ram‘s mind went back a few days. To trace the sequence of events that had brought this mess upon himself. And as it happens it all began at a media party. A media party to celebrate the launch of…??? Who remembers the reason for a media party anyways?

A slurred voice sounded near the bar (usually the best place for OTS at such venues). "Ahhh my agency is bad! Very bad! Bad is not the word for them…" Those mistaking this tirade for an audition of the classic Michael Jackson track (new remix version), could be forgiven. Mr Katcha West, marketing manager of ‘Uniquely New Developments Involving Elongated Socks‘ (in industry parlance - UNDIES), was a man you did not want to ‘undie‘estimate. Not just because of his Japanese mother and American father heritage that made him the butt of some very cruel World War 2 jokes, but mainly because of the advertising budget of nearly Rs 500 million (card rate of course) that he had at his disposal.

Ram was in the vicinity when that remark was made. Within minutes people from various agencies, exchanging cards and making appointments, swamped Mr West. The force of this new business wave (tsunami actually) was such that Ram suddenly found himself shaking hands with West and making an appointment for a presentation.

That was Friday night. Today was Wednesday and it was the day that the servicing team was supposed to brief the creative.

Time flew by. It was 2 pm and everyone gathered in the conference room. "What‘s the brief?" PP, the creative director asked, twirling his ‘you can hang all the servicing guys here‘ whiskers. "You want a brief for UNDIES?" Vikas chirped. "The brief," PP continued patiently tolerating the ‘servicing guy‘s pun. "Aha the brief. What‘s the brief Ram?"

Vikas quickly strolled out of the room. PP‘s gaze met Ram‘s, he had a smile on his face, "Tension mat le," and continued the ‘twist whisk‘ routine that was a signal for all servicing underlings to leave the room..

Later when they sat to review what was needed to be done Vikas remarked, "Ram get some research organized, we need to fill in 40 slides." Ram protested, "But shouldn‘t the slide count be more connected to what our strategy is and how many slides are actually needed to put the point across?" Vikas gave him the same condescending look described earlier.

How Ram wished he had read the same book.

"No brief. We aren‘t giving the creative a brief. Nobody does that." Vikas concluded with the panache of an account executive making an entry into a media party sans invite (as we all know panache is very important here).

Ram looked at Mr Raichand. His head was furrowed in thought. "Good. Very good. I like that. No brief. That‘s brilliant. Good show Vikas." Ram was shaking his head when PP looked at him and gave him a wry smile. "Lets go for it guys I think we have something here. A winner strategy. Let the creative now deliver. Vikas message me the address of the clients and the time of the presentation. Go for it boys," the CEO departed and with him Vikas as though he was a slightly detached body accessory.

"PP was left causing severe stress to his moustache. "That @#$%^" I will get him for this" Ram was still dumbstruck by the speed of the whole KMK ‘Kholo Maro Khisko‘ Vikas maneuver. "I know what, we will just recycle all the stuff that we did for the lollipop presentation last week with a few changes ….akhir yahan lollipop alag hain… Ha, ha, ha." The room laughed along in a forced manner when Chai-La came in with the customary chais. As he was giving Ram his cup he whispered, "I told you the answer already lies weetheen," and left before Ram could formally appoint him his Shaolin master.

9 am. UNDIES head office.

The agency team, the equipment guys and any other people you might choose to make up the number 14 (again from the Vikas school of thought) show up.

Jaws dropped down like the Dow Jones after 9/11. Ram‘s heart sank with the speed of a U-boat scooting after sinking one of her majesty‘s battleships. "Surely you must be mistaken," Vikas said, giving the receptionist his by now legendary condescending look.

"I am not sir. He was fired by the company last week."

 

 

 

 

 

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