It is that time of the year again when you have to take a count of what happened during the year. Knowing most stars and starlets of the tube closely, here are a few of my selections. Or maybe you can term it as awards!

KATTI OF THE YEAR..... Mihir Mishra and Gurdeep Kohli

Ever since Shilpa Kadam opted out of Sanjivani - A Medical Boon, Mihir Mishra started giving Gurdeep Kohli and other members of the cast others a cold shoulder. Mihir avoids talking to almost everyone. All, including Gurdeep, are clueless about Mihir behaviour. Says Gurdeep, "He is so cold, towards almost everyone in the unit. The whole day, he keeps all to himself. Till Shilpa was there, he was all right. As if we were responsible for her ouster!"

COMEBACK OF THE YEAR...... Amarr Upadhyay

Viewers of Des Mein Niklla Hoga Chand were in for a surprise one Monday night. When the bandages were removed (there was some accident in case you didn't know), viewers expected Varun Badola to smile pretty and finally Dev and Pammi would unite. But Aroona Irani had other plans. As the bandages came off, the face that smiled back was not of Varun Badola but 'Mihir' oops Amarr Upadhyay. Incidentally Amarr had almost bid adieu to the small screen after he bagged a film after he was catapulted to stardom after his 'death' in Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.

WAIL OF THE YEAR...... Sonu Nigam

Ever heard a singer wailing? Sonu was whining, sorry, wailing about not receiving the National award for his song Mere Rang De Basanti Chola, picturised on Ajay Devgan in The Legend of Bhagat Singh. The song not only had a patriotic feel to it but was also a very difficult proposition to sing, he claimed. "I can guarantee you that half the singers today would not be able to sing even the first line of the song. AR Rehman tells me that I deserved the award," he added. And incidentally, didn't somebody once said that awards don't mean much to them?

REPLACEMENT OF THE YEAR...... Riva Bubber

Riva was introduced in Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi as Damini. Some episodes later, she was booted out and Raavee replaced her. About three months later, Gupta was booted out and Riva came back! "We were getting a lot of feedback that Raavee was not happening," explained Ekta. But was that really the reason?

CONFESSION OF THE YEAR...... Urvashi Dholakia

It was this year that Urvashi went public that she had married when she was just 16 and delivered twins when she was 17, and is single at 25 today. She said her marriage was a rebellion but unfortunately things didn't work out. She came back to her parents with two cute twins aged 18 months. And then... she rose like a phoenix from the ashes.

RUMOUR OF THE YEAR...... Barkha Dutt

Gossip mills have been working overtime that NDTV's Barkha Dutt is seeing Aamir Khan. If the grapevine is to be believed, the two of them hit it off during Khan's trip to Kargil which was a big hit with the jawans and the local masses. According to the industry grapevine, Khan is totally smitten by Barkha and her kind of firebrand journalism. Khan has been making frequent work-related visits to Delhi with regards to his forthcoming productions. Coincidentally Delhi is also the city where Barkha is based. And, he has been spotted with Barkha giving him company at the various dos in the capital.

CAGED BIRD OF THE YEAR...... Shilpa Saklani

The Sindhi beauty is willing to expose. She has gone on record (difficult to believe though) that she is ready if somebody is ready to pay for it. And we thought that TV girls were 'behenji' types! Appearances are deceptive, aren't they? Come to think of it, if the TV girls are game to wear minimum, why blame the film girls who are placed on a larger canvas in a far more glamorous world? Seems, the six yard saris of Kyunki… are really suffocating her to no end.

MYSTERIOUS COUPLE OF THE YEAR...... Gauri Pradhan and Hiten Tejwani

It was as baffling as an Alfred Hitchcock mystery as to why Gauri and Hiten kept denying their relationship to many scribes, when they have been painting the town red at the slightest opportunity. Gauri says, "Where is the time for love?" Do I believe her?


BREAK-UP OF THE YEAR...... Shilpa Saklani &Arjun Punj

The two were quite a couple until recently when the unfortunate split happened. While Shilpa is going around saying 'This is one aspect of my life full of queries but I don't want to know the answers, because even if I know the answers I won't be able to do much', Arjun is said to have found solace in Gurdeep Kohli's arms.

NON-COMMITTAL RELATIONSHIP OF THE YEAR....... Gurdeep Kohli and Arjun Punj

Both of them refuse to acknowledge that they have romantic feelings for each other. Ask them and they say almost in unison, "We go for long drives, we go for dinners, we go for movies, we go for parties. We like each other's company a lot." If this is not romance, then what is? Seems, someone from Sanjivani hospital needs to counsel the couple on what is romance!

PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP OF THE YEAR...... Cezzane Khan and Shweta Tiwari

Not so long ago, they were best friends. Suddenly, their friendship started causing probs in Shweta's marital bliss. The two stopped talking to each other... except of course when the director called 'Lights, Camera, Action'. Dost dost na raha!

ENIGMA OF THE YEAR...... Mona Singh

I went crazy, more out of great amusement than anything else, when I interviewed her. The damsel in distress (at least that's what she looks like in Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin) lied through her teeth, sorry, braces. "I wear these braces and glasses in real life too." At that point, the glasses fell off and a screw came off. A close scrutiny (sorry, but that's my job) revealed that she did not feel even slightly discomfited, clumsy or awkward. it was a case of 'sab kuch dikhta hai'. After putting the screw back, she answered the remaining questions and still continued to deny most of the things I asked about herself, "I am no different from my character in reel life. Good that my glasses were mended, else I would have felt a terrible discomfort." Phew!

SEPARATION OF THE YEAR ...... Deepshikha and Jeet Upen

Parveen Babi look-alike Deepshikha (of Kittie Party fame) and her husband Jeet Upen (the guy who shook his torso to the famous Hawa Hawa number in Don 2) dissolved their marriage of five years. Deepshi (as she is fondly called) tells me, "Matters came to head, recently. The water went above the neck. It started telling on my work and health. Recently, I won the 'First Runner Up' title and the 'Kohinoor Woman Of The Year' in the Mrs India Contest '03. If all had been well, I might have clinched the title. And I didn't want my baby to grow in an unhealthy ambience. I filed for a divorce. He said he had no problems in signing on the dotted line. October 2, '03, it was all over."

PROMOTION OF THE YEAR....... Anant Mahadevan

So what if his directorial debut Ishq Vishk Pyar Vyar did not pay much dividends at the box-office? So what if he dropped out (or was he asked to leave?) from directing Kagaar- On The Edge? So what if he diverted his energies to the telly serial Devi? Form is temporary, class is permanent. As on date, Anant Mahadevan (currently directing Devi and Sambhav Asambhav on Sony) is once again stepping on greener pastures. Last heard, he has been assigned two films, one for Nitin Manmohan with Shahid Kapoor opposite Kareena Kapoor, and the other, a woman oriented subjected for producer Ravi Dodi of Paagalpan fame, featuring the voluptous Neha Dhupia in the lead role. Buzz is that Kareena Kapoor and Shahid Kapoor are having the hots for each other. What more does Mahadevan want? 'Film ki publicity bhi ho gayi'!

WEDDING OF THE YEAR......

Not the sexy Mayuri Kango who roped in an NRI on December 28 , but Ronit Roy and his live-in girlfriend Neelam on December 25 at 'The Resort' in Mumbai. Who says live-in relationships don't culminate in marriage? Let's see what happens on Shveta Salve-Rodney and Achint Kapoor-Mohan Kapoor front. I don't know what are Shveta's plans, but a Mohan-Achint marriage is unlikely. Asked when they plan to marry, Mohan tells me, "What difference would marriage make to two matured individuals like us? And what is it that we haven't done that marriage would sanction us to do?". Well, well, well...

HUNK OF THE YEAR...... Rajeev Khandelwal

The guy has been flooded with letters, emails and SMS. The less said about the number of girls calling him on the mobile, the better. "I don't know who is giving away my cell number. At first, I was enjoying it. But now, it's getting on my nerves. This female fan club is too to handle, man. Imagine I am giving a shot and the mobile rings. Normally it's on the silent mode with the voice mail on. I finish my shot, put on the voice recorder and am bombarded with oohs and aahs! Sometimes, the messages are very obscene." Think of it, he should be enjoying all this. 'Complaint karne mein kya farak padta hai?' Right Rajeev?

MISCAST OF THE YEAR...... Achint Kaur

While Mandira had resigned from Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi saying that the role was not happening, Ekta Kapoor decided to bring in Achint Kaur instead. A plastic surgeon was summoned and Kaur's identity was kept a secret. Look at the way the talented Kaur is flushing her talent down the drain. Running around left, right and centre with bizzare music 'dhun tana na, dhun tana na' beating everytime she comes on the screen, her all attempts to put the 'sati savitri' Tulsi in trouble have bitten dust much sooner than expected. Apparently, the tab on the TRP mionitor must have revealed that her track was not roping in many viewers. For once, Ekta has miscast somebody.

SEX-BOMB OF THE YEAR...... Mandira Bedi

Today, the hipster sari, set off with a noodle spaghetti-strap blouse, can give low-waist jeans a run for their money. Ask Mandira Bedi who both exasperated and tantalised a billion Indians during the World Cup, courtesy Sony Max. While men salivated, Bedi laughed all the way to the bank. But wasn't she very thin, lean and straight during the days of Shanti? Then, how come... Anyways. Overheard one local train traveller saying just the same to another traveller sitting beside him. And do you know what the other guy replied? "Tu ped kyun ginta hai...!"

ENDLESS WAIT OF THE YEAR...... Sangeeta Ghosh

The voluptous beauty auditioned for one of Ram Gopal Varma's forthcoming productions. Was she ready for item-numbers and sexy outfits? It is unlikely that Ram Gopal Varma has something for her draped from head to toe. Apparently, she was. She has lovely vital statistics to boot, "Oh yes. I love seeing item-numbers and would love to perform them as well. As for skimpy outfits, didn't I wear a swimsuit in a telly-serial Suhana Safar? I want to do Ramuji's flick. I am waiting for his call," she replied. But RGV's call hasn't yet come.

MISERY OF THE YEAR...... Smriti Z Iraani

I don't know whether you have noticed but I have. Ever since she joined politics, her histronics are not upto the mark. She looks jaded, she is off-tangent, she has a baffled look on her face as if she is straining her grey cells on what expression she should give. In short, she looks out of form. Rejuvenate yourself, Smriti. Remember, criticism should be taken constructively.

NON-ACTOR OF THE YEAR...... Ali Hassan

Sorry, but I can't disguise words. Ali (Aryan of Kahaani...) needs to do a crash course in acting, immediately. Since the guy is romancing Tina Parakh (in the serial, silly), he is in almost every frame. Blame it on 'pyar kiya nahin jaata ho jaata hai' theory or whatever, we have to bear him with what else but a gulp. At least, he should stop crying in the emotional scenes. He can't cry for nuts!

NEW LIFE OF THE YEAR...... Parmeet Sethi

After Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, we thought that Parmeet clinch many a roles. But strange are the ways of Bollywood. Guess he did not have a PR, nor was ready to lick anybody's ass. The poor guy got relegated to being called as Archana Puran Singh's husband! A terrible feeling for a man. I know some men say they don't mind, but I think they are lying. Days became months and months became years until destiny once again smiled. This year, he got back to doing what he is best at - acting. And we see him sailing through with dignity and sophistication in Star Plus' Kyunki..., Saara Akaash, and Sony's Jassi. Welcome back, Parmeet!

PAIN OF THE YEAR..... Sudha Chandran

This lady bored us no end by repeating the same things again and again in every episode. How much can one go on hearing dialogues like 'Main sabko mar daloongi'? And when she finally killed everybody, she won no curses and abuses. People were so fed up with her warnings that there was no emotion left to react when it finally happened. Another case of talent going down the drain. Is there no other stuff for this talented artiste? Answer this, Ekta.

OPTIMIST OF THE YEAR....... Karishma Kapoor

Imagine the Punjabi kudi telling the scribes recently, "I think the serial will pick up." May I offer some advice to Sahara? Maybe it will be chotta mooh, badi baat, but Karishma - The Miracles Of Destiny should be scrapped. This country is not so rich that lakhs and lakhs should be flushed down the drain.

COSTUMES OF THE YEAR...... Aamna Shariff

Wow! I have never seen such designer wear on the tube before. Shariff tells me, "Nim Sood sends me the stuff, but I am too fussy. I take only what I like. Sometimes I use my dresses too."

Well? She has the best choice, I must say! And I know how she is particular are about the fitting as well.

TRAGEDY OF THE YEAR...... Shakti Anand and Rupali Ganguly

According to sources, Shakti Anand dropped Rupali Ganguly like a hot brick. Yes, the couple was dating since a long time. The girl was crazy about the guy and she still hasn't got over him. If he takes even one step towards her, she will take ten such, sorry, she'll run into his arms. Last heard, Shakti Anand and Sonal Sehgal (his costar of Saara Akaash) have become an item.

CHALLENGE OF THE YEAR...... Vinay and Radhika Sapru

The ex-Universal duo were unapologetic about their controversial, sorry, objectionable Kaanta Laga and Chadhti Jawani music videos. In a I-care-a-damn tone, they said, "Filmmakers from Raj Kapoor to Guru Dutt have made their heroines look sensuous. They all do it in their way. This is our style. If someone thinks our videos are kinky, damn good!"

The girl in the Chadti Jawani Video, Negar Khan, supported their cause, by telling me, "You guys don't understand the concept in the video. We girls have been shown to have descended from heaven. We do not know what is life, what is flesh, so we ought to feel it a bit." Oh yeah? Anyways, Anupam Kher has apparently made a note of it and taken it as a challenge when he assumed office as the Censor Board Chief. We'll wait and watch whether Kher is just talking tough or plans to act on it.

Lemme celebrate by letting my hair down and getting a little naughty. Welcome 2004!

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