GUEST COLUMN
S.SHANKAR MENON: CRICKET INSANITY
What of cricket on television? In
January 2000 we are promised 160 hours in all over
every day of the month with both ESPN and Star Sports
telling us in India who is doing what to whom and
how and where.
In fact cricket now seems to be played
entirely for television. Zimbabwe plays Sri Lanka
now and there is hardly any one in the empty stands.
Along with couch potatoes getting fattened on the
starch of Test matches and one day fiesta, a new breed
of experts and commentators flourish.
The Indian variety unlike some of
our cricketers are quite dismal. Sunil Gavaskar who
scored centuries with an ease that he can not in any
way bring near the microphone lengthens out his words
to irritate all of us otherwise quite taken in by
the acuteness of occasional perception. "He has hittuh
the balluh to the boundary," is Gavaskar's way of
speaking and beyond a point this begins to grate.
Ravi Shastri uses cliches. Every wicket that falls
is the wicket that the fielding side needed most.
Every other cast off idiom from the oldest wardrobe
of the English language is repeatedly brought out
and drives the listener to distraction. Harsha Bhogle
gobbles his words in a rush, his thoughts speeding
ahead like many acutely intelligent persons.
Now that he has begun to slow down
a bit, he gets better and better. Charu Sharma the
anchor in the studio most of the time is the most
professional of all, combining good looks with clear
diction. All this inspite of not having played any
cricket at all.
Geoff Boycott is literally the Great
White Hope of our cricket commentary. Unfortunately
the legal processes are still not quite clear whether
he hit various women or not and the stern view taken
by the BBC is generally a model for other networks.
Boycott has surfaced lately, which seems to suggest
that these matters are since sorted out.
Our local language commentators are
much better. The usual problem persists. Those who
speak Hindi well get much too excited and those like
Arun Lal who have played the game are dreary to listen
to.
So where do we go from here? Suggestions
are welcome. Please send them in. Meanwhile lettuh
ussuh hopuh the batsman does nottuh hittuh a boundary
offuh the backfootuh.
S.Shankar Menon
The author is executive chairman indiantelevision.com
