|
The
flash committers - a tribe usually found in the upper
echelons of the corporate world. These people instantly
commit timelines and deliverables with the earnestness
of a quiz participant in a buzzer round, promptly
assume that their task has been gallantly done and
then recede into the background, leaving the innocent
bystanders to battle the impossible odds of fulfilment.
"The
act of commitment is all about reckless thought, as
rarely if at all is the concerned opinion sought."
The hushed words of wisdom, the express delivery of
the tea cup and Chai-La (the mystical Chinese canteen
boy) had disintegrated into a graph of the falling
sensex on the paper on conference room table.
Ram sipped the warm brew and once again pondered about
the riddle that was residual with the tea cup. He
glanced around the room. Vikas (his boss), PP (the
creative director), Dharti (the strategic planning
head) and Planimus (the gladiatorial media planning
chief) were present from the agency team. There was
the new client Ms. Taut n Firm, the visionary proprietor
of the business that the agency had recently acquired.
Her company was in the business of making products
of a curious nature that no one quite knew enough
about.
But that being said, there was more to Ms. Taut n
Firm than met the eye, though what met the eye was
certainly impressive. She was wondrously endowed with
all the virtues that men of low moral fibre usually
appreciate. But as philosophers would venture to eloquently
espouse (if someone actually troubled them by asking)
where her strength really was in what lay between
her ears. Blessed with a razor sharp mind and a feisty
animal-like cunning, she made news regularly on both
the business and the socialite pages. Her company
had a lot of suitors even though what it exactly did
remained strangely elusive.
The meeting was about how the relationship between
the new client and agency would function, what would
be the deliverables involved, an allocation of responsibilities
and an introduction to the people whose lives would
generally be more miserable as a result of the additional
burden being thrown their way.
Ms. Taut n Firm cast a condescending look across the
room, like a great white shark indulging its prey
a little bit before dinner. She knew that she needed
this motley bunch to deliver whatever she wanted in
double quick time with few questions asked. She moved
a trained eye across her adversaries. PP would be
difficult no doubt, so would Planimus and Dharti;
she distinctly picked a "hostile vixen vibe"
from the latter. The underling would be insignificant,
though she was amazed how the tea cup had suddenly
materialised in his hand.
Her
eyes finally rested on the dapper and suave head of
Vikas who was busy trying to adjust his tie in his
reflection on the glass of water on the table. Her
gaze caught his eyes and a "moment" happened.
Dharti distinctly felt a pang of jealousy surge through
her veins. Vikas beamed back at Ms. Taut n Firm with
the eagerness of a school child eager to please his
favourite teacher.
Ms. Taut n Firm smiled back with mesmeric charm. But
her astute brain had already decoded Vikas's DNA and
classified him as a species whose essential thought
process emanated waist downwards.
"So Vikas, how do we begin this?" she enquired
with an icy allure that walked the tightrope between
dictatorial lenience and coquettish promise.
"You tell us. We usually over deliver on client
expectations," quipped back Vikas, sporting a
grin that he hoped was making his teeth have that
trademark sparkle.
The groans that resounded across the room were almost
"philharmonic." Many kicks were launched
under the table but Vikas, having encountered much
pain in the past from those quarters, adroitly swayed
his legs and avoided them.
"Well, I need the agency to devise a business
and marketing strategy in 3 days' time."
"Done," he said with such gusto that his
momentum shocked his compatriots for a bit, just like
how it sometimes takes the implication of a death
sentence to sink in before the inevitable emotional
outburst ensues.
"You must be joking." Began Dharti, her
normally unflappable self clearly doing a lot of flapping
right then.
"We don't even know what business Ms. Taut n
Firm is in," boomed PP upsetting the tender equilibrium
of the stationery on the table.
Ms. Taut n Firm sensed the rebellion, and knew she
had to move through the gears.
"The risk of the account moving out gets the
leaders' sweat glands working, no doubt."
Ram was grateful for the much-needed second cup but
still was left stumped by Chai-La's pearl of wisdom
as the latter departed committing a rather too tight
a deadline for the third cup of warm brew.
"You know Vikas. My account is in much demand..."
Ms. Taut n Firm knew she would not need to complete
that sentence.
Planimus snorted a retort that sounded like a quasar
trying to express itself amidst the cacophony of the
cosmos, really harsh on the ear.
"No
sweat, it will be done," Vikas quickly cut in,
firmly tapping Dharti's hand.
"And I need the campaign to be shown to me the
same day."
"Certainly, it will be done."
PP jumped out of seat like an arch nemesis would on
discovering that his well-thought-out master plan
to eliminate Bond had failed.
"I don't even know what the brand is about, we
are clueless about the category, and we have absolutely
no other information. How can you even commit such
deadlines?"
"Isn't this agency smart enough to generate ideas
with very little information? Just think of a generic
campaign that could fit at least three categories
that seem close in terms of values and consumer expectations
and we should be there," Ms. Taut n Firm cooed
back, her beautiful eyes locked on Vikas and no one
else.
Apparently, some snakes have a hypnotic effect on
their prey; Ram was witnessing the same phenomena
though not on the same scale (pun intended)
"Yes it is. We will deliver in three days,"
shot back Vikas
PP stormed out of the room and exploded in a flurry
of expletives that threatened to strain the very fabric
of society, kicking everything that came his way as
he left the room. Ram just briefly glanced behind
in the window to see some young airborne trainees.
"And finally I need a complete media strategy
and budget recommendation on that day as well,"
Ms. Taut n Firm ordered, toying with a little paperweight
on the table.
"What choice do you have? You may as well commit
without understanding the basics of what will be needed
to do such an exercise. Actually knowing what we are
doing all this for is not a bad thing you know; it
does put a perspective on things." That was Planimus
in his most vintage sarcastic tone.
"All fixed for the next meeting in three days'
time," said Vikas still staring into Ms. Taut
n Firm's eyes as though he could never look away.
Dharti and Planimus exited the room shaking their
heads, their morale and disposition obviously having
seen better days.
"That's it then, see you," said Miss Taut
n Firm.
She
snapped her fingers in front of Vikas's face and then
glided out of the room as if she were on skates.
Vikas blinked his eyes briefly and then puffed his
chest out a bit.
"See
chief and savour, how I prevented the account from
moving out. How I controlled the situation and won
back client respect and faith. See and learn, I hope
you take notes about my performance at such forums;
it will help you in the future. How can you ever thank
me enough for such learning experiences?"
Ram stared hard at Vikas. There was no doubt that
he actually believed what he had just said.
"How are we going to meet those deadlines?"
he asked with typical focus.
"Don't bother me with these mundane things; I
am flying out for three days on matters of a secret
nature for the company. I could tell you but would
have to kill you after that, so see you at the next
meeting in three days and all the deliverables are
your responsibility from here on. After all, how much
more can I do?"
Vikas vanished with a dexterity (and a contented chuckle)
that was honed over the years.
"Setting a deadline is not that tough, when it's
not you who is going to face the rough."
The maniacal giggle, the express delivery of the tea
cup (5 minutes later than promised) and Chai-La dissolved
into the impending gloom of the day.
For once Ram fully understood what he meant.
 The
writer is Vice President, Rediffusion DY&R. He
is also the patron saint of Juhu Beach United, a football
club that celebrates the "unfit, out of breath
media professional of today." You can write to
him at (vinaykanchan@hotmail.com).
(The
views expressed here are those of the author and Indiantelevision.com need
not necessarily subscribe to the same) | 
